guys, i had this weird dream last night where i was a lesbian and had a penis. i don't remember how, but somehow my penis got cut off at the top - like the whole top part was sliced off. i think we were at a treehouse club and my girlfriend cut it off or something - i don't really remember. i was holding the piece in my hand and kept trying to put it back on. i didn't want to go to the hospital because i knew it was going to take a lot of stitches. i think McCartney from The Bachelor was my girlfriend.
then somehow i decided to just to put it together, bandage it, and hope for the best. the next day i woke up and looked in the mirror. there was a crazy white scar around my lips - somehow the penis turned into my lips, but otherwise it healed fine. then it hit me that i didn't take care when putting the pieces together and didn't line up the urethra. i had to pee so i decided to see if it worked and i was full of anxiety. finally the pee started flowing and everything was fine.
1 comment:
holy shit, ryan, this is quite a dream. i like that mccarten from the bachelor made an appearance. i'm sure she'd be flattered but then mad b/c she is disgusted by lesbians most likely.
i had a dream last night that i left my purse and shirt in a bathroom stall and had to go back to get it and there was someone in there and when she came out she didn't flush and left this huge turd in the toilet. i grabbed my shirt and put it on and there was a huge poop stain skidmark on it and i wore it anyway and then meredith let me borrow a sweatshirt. mere saves the day!
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